Our October Family Traditions
By Michal Fandel, Triplet Mom
Originally printed in October, 2004

Fall in the Jewish calendar is very busy.  Most people have heard about our 
holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, otherwise known as the High Holy 
Days.  This year, Rosh Hashanah starts the evening of September 15th and 
continues through September 17th (Jewish holidays go from sundown to sundown) 
and Yom Kippur starts on the evening of September 24th and continues through 
the 25th.  These are considered the most important holidays of the Jewish year 
and there are some Jews that only go to the synagogue for those holidays and 
no other time during the year.  So needless to say, they are important dates 
in the Jewish calendar.  However, when I was asked to write about family 
traditions around these holidays, I thought it might be a short article, 
because these holidays are spent mostly in the synagogue.  Alternatively, 
though, I thought it would be fun to include the rest of the fall holidays, 
which include Sukkot (beginning the evening of September 29th), Shemini Atzeret 
(October 7th) and Simchat Torah (October 8th), which have more fun family and 
home traditions.

Let me give you a brief description of all of these holidays and then I will 
share some of our fun, family traditions.  First, is Rosh Hashanah, also known 
as the Jewish New Year, which literally means "head of the year."  This is the 
start of the High Holidays.  It is celebrated two days because of ancient concerns 
that we might miss the right day.  This starts a 10-day period where we really 
reflect on the year that has past, what we did right and wrong, to ask forgiveness 
for all our wrongs, and pledge to do better in the next year.

At the end of the 10 days, it is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.  There is a 
powerful metaphor that I like for this holiday period.  During Rosh Hashanah, 
the Book of Life is opened and everyone's fate is written in it, but you have 
time between the holidays to improve your fate; on Yom Kippur your fate is sealed 
for the next year.  That is why Jews ask for forgiveness especially during that time.

Some of the most famous practices and traditions around these holidays are as follows: 
for Rosh Hashanah, we have a round challah (instead of the normal braided loaf) and 
it is usually filled with raisins.  This is to symbolize the continuity from one year 
to the next and the sweetness we desire for the year to come.  It is also traditional 
to dip apples into honey and also, the challah into honey.  Again, this is to symbolize 
a sweet year.  These all take place during a festival meal at someone's house, often 
celebrated with friends.

On Yom Kippur, the end of the High Holy Days, we fast from sundown to sundown, eating 
an early dinner beforehand and a late dinner after the holiday is over (for anyone 
that is counting, it usually turns out to be about 25 to 26-hours of no food or drink).  
The reason for the fasting is to allow one to really concentrate on praying (you spend 
the majority of the day at the synagogue).  However, there is a tradition of getting 
together at the end of the holiday with friends for a "break the fast."

As soon as Yom Kippur is over, we start preparing for the rest of the fall holidays.  
While Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are long days at the synagogue, the rest of the 
holidays have both home and synagogue parts.  The next holiday is called Sukkot, which 
is the Hebrew plural word for the temporary huts that the Israelites built while traveling 
through the desert.  Therefore, a huge part of the holiday is for families to build 
their own Sukkah in their yards.  These take all forms, but the one thing they must 
have in common is that you cannot complete the ceiling; you need to be able to see the 
sky from inside.  Some are built of wood and some of canvas, the ceilings are either of 
bamboo or branches of trees, and they are all decorated by the artwork of children.  
We have a Sukkah that my parents bought when we were growing up.  When my father and 
stepmother moved to a townhouse where they had no room for the Sukkah, they gave it 
to us.  It definitely takes me back to memories of growing up when we put up the Sukkah 
and celebrated in it.  Despite the fact that my husband keeps saying it is on its last 
leg, we keep building it every year and using it for our observance.  Our Sukkah is 
fairly small and made of canvas, so it is less than ideal, but it goes up fast, which 
comes in handy with young triplets.  Anyhow, the idea is that you are supposed to 
"live" in the Sukkah, which means eat and sleep within it.  Very few people do a lot 
of sleeping in the Sukkah, though some of our friends plan one night as a sleep out 
for their kids.  Eating in the Sukkah is more common if it is big enough and the 
weather cooperates.  Our Sukkah is too small, so we just go there for the blessings 
that begin the meal, and then go inside for the meal.  It is also very traditional to 
have an "Open Sukkah" where you invite people over to your Sukkah.  In fact, our 
synagogue has a "Sukkah Hop," where people go from Sukkah to Sukkah.  Just to finish 
tying this in with the previous holiday, this year, Yom Kippur is celebrated on Friday 
night to Saturday.  Therefore, on Sunday, many people will be busy building and 
decorating their Sukkah.  Needless to say, the Sukkah is a very powerful symbol of 
the holiday.

Another symbol of Sukkot, which is used both at home and at the synagogue, is the 
Lulav and Etrog.  This is made up of four things that are combined together to 
represent the breadth of the Jewish people.  There is a "branch" that you carry, 
which is really a combination of a Palm branch, willow branch and myrtle branch.  
In addition, there is a fruit you hold to complete the foursome.  This fruit is 
officially called a "citroen."  It is from the lemon family.  You are supposed to 
carry all four pieces together for some special prayers, and then you march around 
the synagogue with all of them waving in a particular way, at specific times.  Often 
children that are old enough are the ones that hold the Lulav and Etrog.  It is also 
used at the home so that you can do the prayers with the Lulav and Etrog every day 
of the holiday.  This is something that you need to purchase before the holiday.  Not 
everyone purchases it, for a number of reasons, including, like us, from time to time, 
we just run out of time before we remember to buy it.  Therefore, at the synagogue, 
when it is time to do the prayer, people share so that everyone has a chance.  It turns 
into a great time to visit with everyone.

Sukkot is really a seven-day holiday.  The first two days are formal holiday days where 
you are not supposed to work.   Then, there are five intermediary days.  The holiday 
concludes with another associated holiday actually called Shemini Atzeret, the Eighth 
Day of Assembly.  On this day you must go to the synagogue and do a memorial prayer 
for your relatives that are no longer living (Sukkot is one of three pilgrimage holidays 
which commemorate when the Jews made a pilgrimage to Israel.  These pilgrimage holidays 
also have agriculture ties.  Every pilgrimage holiday includes a day for the memorial 
prayer to remind us of the continuity of the religion.  Since I lost my mother while I 
was in college, it is always a bittersweet holiday.).

The good news is that the following day, there is a great holiday to end the holiday 
season.  It is called Simchat Torah, literally celebrating the Torah (the Five Books of 
Moses given to the Jews on Mount Sinai).  We celebrate finishing one cycle of reading 
the Torah scroll and then immediately starting again.  This does mostly take place in 
the synagogue, but different from Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur where the entire Jewish 
community comes, on Simchat Torah, the group is comprised more of the "hard cores," so it 
feels a lot like family.  Since we are celebrating the Torah, we actually dance around 
with all the Torah scrolls.  We "dance" around with the Torah a number of times, getting 
everyone involved.  And, those that are interested do Israeli Folk Dancing around and with 
the Torah.  Since Israeli Folk Dancing is something I truly enjoy and have done and performed 
for many years, this is where I take on a bit of a leadership role.  Everyone that wants to 
can get an opportunity to actually carry the Torah, including kids that are big enough.  
Many kids that are younger bring their own stuffed Torah to march around with.  Also, 
there are flags provided for kids to dance with.

When all the marching and dancing is done, we actually chant from the Torah and everyone 
is called up to the Torah for an honor.  The last honor goes to all the children that are 
under Jewish adult age of 13, who usually are not called up, since they are our future.  
It is a special honor to say the blessings of the Torah for the children.  It is also a 
special honor to be called up for the very last portion and the very first portion of the 
Torah.  Our synagogue uses these honors to acknowledge important members of the synagogue, 
but they try to make it suspenseful so that no one should know until right before the honor.

It is traditional that after you are called up, you have a little snack (especially since 
this is our longest service of the year).  It is also traditional that adults do a shot 
after their honor (Jews are big fans of drinking, but not getting too drunk).  And, we also 
have a tradition of some fun and games towards the end of the service.  Our high school 
students put on a skit during a particular part of the service and the leader of the service 
does some of the prayers to different tunes, such as those of the Beatles.  Every synagogue 
has a different set of antics, but this is the holiday for it.  For those of us that observe 
all these holidays, which could amount to seven days off from work, we really look forward 
to Simchat Torah as a fun holiday at the end where we can dance and really celebrate the 
holiday.  And, of course, as with almost all Jewish holidays, food is an important part, 
so we have a big congregational luncheon afterwards and again, it is a great chance to 
visit with our friends.

As I am sure is the case with all of you, the holidays provide an opportunity to reflect 
on the growth and changes that you see with your children.  This year, our oldest son, Natan, 
is going to Kindergarten.  We decided to send him to the South Area Solomon Schechter, a 
Jewish day school.  It is a big transition for us to have him start school, but we are very 
excited.  We are especially excited to see the dimensions that school adds to our holiday 
celebration.  For example, in the past, the artwork we have hung up in the Sukkah has not 
lasted past the first rain.  I wonder if this year, we will have better artwork to withstand 
the elements.  As for the triplets, last year they were so young that they were not really 
aware of much.  This year, now that they are 17-months, and will be 18-months by Sukkot, 
they are so much more aware.  I can't wait to see their reaction to the Sukkah.  I envision 
them having a lot of fun navigating into and out of the Sukkah and trying to hold the Lulav 
and Etrog, with a lot of parental assistance.  This year, I think my husband and I will 
really start learning from our children.

So this year, when you see your Jewish friends and neighbors observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom 
Kippur, you will have better understanding of the holidays and you will know about the holidays 
that follow that don't make it on most calendars.  Also, while you will read this article after 
Yom Kippur, I am writing it beforehand, so I will ask all of you for forgiveness and hope that 
next year, I do things a little bit better.

I will wish you all a "Shana Tova Umetukah," that you should be "inscribed" for a sweet New Year!