Birthdays, Toddler Leashes, Multiples Sharing a Room, Driving Long Distances with Multiples
From Our Members...
Originally printed in December, 2004

I am planning my trio's 1st birthday coming up in November.  I received a magazine 
from Birthday Express.  Anyone ordered from it before?  Are the prices decent or should I go 
elsewhere?    ~Rena

I usually go to Walmart.  I like the way you can pick things á là carte.  I think Walmart 
prices are pretty cheap.  But whatever works for you!  It's all about convenience also.    
~Nancy

My sister uses Birthday Express all the time and loves it; she's always been happy with 
the ease of it and how fast the box arrives.  You can definitely get supplies cheaper at 
iParty, Walmart, etc., but if you're looking for convenience, Birthday Express is a good 
way to go.    ~Gayle

I've used Birthday Express and their service and supplies are great - but very expensive!  
You can get a lot of the same character merchandise at any of the local party stores.  
The party stores are much cheaper (and no shipping of course) and have a larger selection 
than Wal-Mart, etc.  You can also buy great birthday favors (all ages), general party stuff 
(not sure about any character merchandise) and craft kits (not for a 1st birthday, obviously!) 
online at www.orientaltrading.com (Oriental Trading Company).  The Birthday Express website 
is loaded with great ideas (for themes, with coordinating activities, snacks, even cake 
decorating ideas).    ~Lisa


Does anyone have any experience with toddler leashes?    ~Dave and Joan

When my children were nearing 2-years, I started using the Tot-a-Long leashes, particularly 
when I knew I'd be alone.  We called them magic ropes or special bracelets to give them a 
positive connotation.  They were very helpful, as most of the time I was using them while 
walking in parking lots going into Early Intervention, gym class, or anywhere that I 
considered to be a potentially hazardous area, although I think any place could be potentially 
hazardous with four 2-year olds!  I even used them to walk from my back door to the gate 
for our back yard since I live on a busy street.  I bought them at Babies R Us, very 
inexpensive.  I liked them because they're easy to use (velcro) and it was a long time 
before my children figured out how to un-velcro!    ~Karen

It made me feel better to refer to it as a harness (yes, the lead still looks like a leash, 
but it sounds better).  I used the ones from the Right Start store in Natick.  They were 
about $14 a piece, but I may have gotten a multiples discount, I can't remember.  The 
velcro attaches behind their back so that it is a harness around their torso.  The lead 
attaches to the middle of their back.  I let the boys wear them around the backyard for a 
couple of afternoons before I tried to attach the lead.  I needed the harnesses because 
I had to get them through a parking lot and into E.I. (no ramp, definitely not triplet 
stroller friendly).  I believe this is one of the reasons they still behave in parking 
lots with me.  I know another mom whose kids managed to run circles around her and tie 
her up in BJ's.  It's all how you handle them once you have the harnesses on.    ~Laurie

I didn't use them often, but boy when I did, what a lifesaver.  Also, the fact that I 
had them and would use them seemed to help my three stay with me better.  Prior to that, 
I had one boy who would just take off in a parking lot and I would drag the other two 
wildly after him screaming for him to stop the whole time.  Not pretty.  The peace of 
mind was so worth it.  Odd looks I can handle, squashed kids I can't.    ~Sue

For what it's worth... you have to do what you can to make outings safe for the entire 
family.  We had a few similar situations with our triplets, now 4 1/2, and I didn't 
hesitate to use the leashes.  They didn't like them, but I put them on them in the 
strollers and the high chairs and until we "got them through dangerous."  The scary 
and potentially dangerous consequences of not using the leashes more than outweighed 
the looks and the snide comments of those not in your shoes.  You've got to make it 
work safely for you and your family.    ~Catherine

We have harnesses for our three who just turned 2.  They LOVE them because it means they 
get to walk vs. ride in the stroller.  I don't dare take my kids anywhere without somehow 
being tethered to me.  They quickly got used to untangling themselves and figuring out 
the limits.  Andrew is like a sled dog - pulls the whole bunch of us along.  The harnesses 
made our summer vacation quite wonderful.  We spent a week at the beach.  We clipped 
them all to the beach umbrella pole, which gave them latitude to play in the sand or the 
baby pool (filled with salt water), but they couldn't wander away.  It allowed one parent 
to watch the triplets while the other parent took Alison into the surf.  Routinely, we 
use them to go to the zoo or any public event where running around might be fun for them.  
It gives my husband and I great peace of mind.  The only downside - it can be difficult 
for one parent to manage all three.  If you have two straps in one hand and the kids go 
different ways, one kid might get pulled down.  On the good side, they learn pretty quickly 
that they can only get about five feet, so even when you drop a strap, they don't sprint 
away.  We have ones from Safety First, available at Babies 'R Us for about $8-10, I think.    
~Jeanne

Okay...this might sound funny, but we tried a few kinds of kid leash/harness systems 
and we didn't like them.  One day, while I was in Target, I bought three dog collars 
(plastic, buckle-type, with non-doggie designs) and three matching dog leashes... each 
set-up was about $6... and they worked great.  I would put the collars around the kids' 
waists BEFORE we got in the car to go anywhere and as they got out I would say, "Lets 
not forget our leashes," and I would clip them on.  It was our "rule" that they had to 
wear their leashes whenever we were out.  One thing I would suggest is when you first 
do it, take them somewhere that they have only one way to walk and are interested in 
walking, i.e. hiking trail, bike path, etc., so they can get used to it.  And also, 
remember that the leashes don't work for steering or for "pulling" them - they are 
only for safety.  I only had one of mine decide one day that he was going to sit down 
and not move.  He sat and sat and sat.  I waited and waited and waited until he gave 
up and came with us and he never did it again.  They only used them for about 6-8 months, 
and then I didn't need them anymore, but they saved us during that time.    ~Joanne



Can anyone share with me their experiences and/or opinions on whether or not to put 
their multiples in the same room versus separate rooms for sleeping?  What did you 
feel were pros and cons for how you did it?    ~Alison

I think as long as they do fine in a room together, I would keep them that way.  I 
would keep them together until they ask to be apart.  My kids, at least, can't go to 
sleep alone in a room, probably since they are always together.  We have BBG triplets 
and an older daughter.  The boys share a room and the girls share a room, but if our 
oldest daughter sleeps over at a friend's house, Rebecca will sleep in the boys' room - 
she just can't sleep in a room alone.  We don't have enough rooms for everyone to 
have their own, so that has never been a consideration for us but sharing has always worked.    
~Eileen

I find that mine don't want to be alone in any room for sleeping.  My kids seem to 
migrate to the room with the most people, generally to my room to sleep on the floor.  
I only allow one person in my bed each night so they have all picked "their" day.    ~Kim

Multiples are real close to each other, and well bonded.  I have BBG [triplets and] two 
of them are very close... Anthony and Elsa.  When she is in pain crying, he cries too, 
for no reason, and when he is in pain/discomfort crying, she cries too.  Sometimes, 
bringing them close to each other will calm them down.  All three shared the same crib 
in the hospital, then, when they came home at 12 weeks, they each slept in a [different] 
crib, but same room.  Now, they are 11-months old, and when I put them in their cribs 
to sleep, Anthony stands up in his, and Elsa stands up in hers (Kyle can't stand up on 
his own yet), and they start to blablabla together.  They keep talking until they get 
tired.  I will eventually separate them... when they grow a little older - but for now, 
they need each other.  I don't think that there is a yes (separate them) or no (don't 
separate them) answer to this.  I think it is your preference, and what your babies feel... 
but as long as they are doing okay together, I would keep them [together].    ~Rena



What have been people's experiences traveling long distances in the car with 1-year 
old multiples?  Did they tolerate it well and what tricks did you use to keep them 
occupied and/or to help them tolerate it better?    ~Alison

I traveled to Buffalo (8 hours) when the boys were 8-months old.  Left at naptime so 
they got a solid 2-3 hours down.  I pre-measured their cereal into sealed bowls and 
then requested hot water from the concession stands.  On the return trip, I had a 
young niece ride with me so she could retrieve pacifiers and toys.    ~Laurie

The first time we drove far with our triplets, they were about 8-months old.  It was an 
8-hour trip.  We left really early in the morning (like 3am), so we took them out of 
their beds and they slept for the first half of the ride.  We stopped, gave them their 
bottles and they fell asleep after a little while back on the road.  I always liked 
traveling when it was nighttime when they were young so they could sleep and I wouldn't 
have to worry about their schedule or anything.  Now that they are older, we don't go so 
early in the morning, but use my lap-top to watch movies and things.  And, snacks - 
we use a lot of snacks to keep them busy.     ~Eileen

Three letters.... D... V... D...   In all seriousness though, we first traveled to 
Upstate NY (5-6 hours) when the kids were about 7-months old.  Upon the advice of 
other TMM moms, we decided to travel when the kids got their longest stretch of sleep, 
which, for us, was from midnight to 6am.  As far as the kids were concerned, it was 
perfect.  They never woke once and we didn't have to stop for any feedings or diaper 
changes.  The problem was with us... It was the first time I had to honestly admit I 
wasn't as young as I thought anymore, and just couldn't do all-nighters anymore.  We 
were chugging Coke and coffee and it really didn't help.  I remember a long, miserable 
ride.  On future trips, we took the same advice, just left around 7 or 8pm, maybe had 
to stop once around 11pm, but at least Jack and I were still coherent at 1am.  Nowadays, 
I leave during the day and resort to the all-powerful DVD player.  I'd say that if 
you're driving so far that the kids will have to be awake during some portion... a 
DVD player and a few Baby Einstein DVDs will be your lifesaver.    ~Renée

We started traveling long distances when our children were 6-months old, and continue 
to take a few trips a year to visit grandparents.  The trip is an 8-hour drive, but 
takes 10-11 with meals/gas, etc.  Now, we stop to go potty, so that adds a little 
time too!  Every time we've taken a road trip with our crew, I pack a "travel survival 
kit" for each of them.  Basically, I pack the same things each trip, just modified for 
their current age.  For example, books, small toys, mirror, music tape.  I made photo 
albums, which included photos of their grandparents, godparents and each other.  When 
they were around a year old, they loved them and still ask for them now!  I look for 
4-packs of everything to make up the bulk of their travel bags.  A favorite is buying 
4-pack party favors, which are very cheap at party stores.  We also change around who 
sits where so they aren't always sitting next to the same sibling.  And, when all 
else fails, there's nothing like doing the chicken dance while cruising 70mph, to 
catch your kids' attention!   Besides my husband, who could be inducted into sainthood, 
my own survival kit includes chocolate, earplugs (no, I'm not kidding), and the glass 
of wine waiting for me at my parent's house!    ~Karen