Dad's Perspective: Getting Ready
By Jonathan White, Triplet Dad
Originally printed in January, 2005

So, the news has sunk in.  You're moving past "wow" and rapidly spiraling towards 
"If I could only sleep for three hours in a row...."  You're going to be "Daddy" to 
three or more children at once and in less than nine months.  Now what?

Sleep in this Saturday and putter around the house or yard.  Go out to dinner and maybe 
a show.  Go to bed and sleep for at least eight hours.  Comb your hair, brush your teeth, 
and get dressed.  Go to church and really listen to the whole service.  Maybe go to 
brunch afterwards.  Get the Sunday paper on the way home and read the whole thing, 
drinking your coffee while it's still hot.  Be sure to watch a game from start to finish. 
Make a mental note of how it feels.  No, really.  Maybe even write it all down.  Those 
days are just about gone for, oh, probably the next 18 years or so.  But, it's so worth it.

Physically preparing your home for triplets, quads, or more isn't all that hard.  But 
preparing your home and life for the distinct possibility of your wife being on bed 
rest for a while requires some planning and effort.  You are in all likelihood probably 
going to be taking on all the responsibilities and duties your wife currently manages 
while she does the most important job of all, growing those babies.  Everything you 
can do to keep her prone, well-nourished, and sane is worth it.

Some of the things you can do to keep her prone seem almost common sense.  Everything 
she is going to need throughout the day, when no one is home to help, must be within 
easy reach.

Get one of those small refrigerators used in dorms and set it up right next to the bed, 
couch, or wherever she'll be spending the day.  Years from now, this can be set up in 
the garage for other types of beverages... Keep it stocked with plenty of drinks and snacks.  
One word of advice from personal experience: cravings change.  If today's craving is 
Beef-a-Roni, don't buy more than a few cans, as it took Dan and I almost a month to 
finish the remnants and, as a guy, you're not going to lose any of your pregnancy weight 
at delivery!

Set up a cordless phone near the bed with an answering machine.  Everyone and their 
brother is going to be calling her throughout the day and she should have the option 
of ignoring certain callers and sleeping when she wants to.

In the bathroom, two things can really help: a hand-held shower and a shower stool.  
Now, if someone would invent a safety razor with a foot-long handle, I'm sure that 
would be appreciated too.

If you have internet access, I'd also suggest a laptop or at least a cordless keyboard.  
There are plenty of good sites for HOM parents.  Visiting news sites to keep abreast of 
what's going on in the outside world will also make your wife feel less isolated.

Books, videos and games are also great at passing the time.  You may think that laying 
down all day is great, but somewhere around the second day, it's already getting tiresome.  
Breakfast in bed is nice, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed can be a little much.  
Check with some of the restaurants you both enjoy and see if they do take-out.  You could 
also try your hand at cooking if you don't already.  Just be forewarned that pregnant 
women can be very temperamental and that a hungry pregnant woman may not resemble the 
sweet woman that you married (Do you remember the velociraptors from Jurassic Park?).

Now that you've thought about taking care of your wife and bed rest, it's time to turn 
to getting the house ready.  Have you got a vehicle that can hold three or more car 
seats?  Well, you will.  Check out www.TripletConnection.org or www.Father2Father.org 
for discussions about what vehicles others have used.  Just keep in mind that most are 
not what you may think of as "sporty."  But, you will have the biggest, baddest stroller 
in town, so it kind of evens out.

Start looking at strollers now too.  I don't know of any local stores that stock strollers 
that fit more than two babies at once and ordering them takes more than a couple weeks.  
Talk to your Veteran Mom about their stroller and again, check online to see alternatives.  
Keep in mind that you'll be using it for three or more years and they aren't cheap.

One of the best things I did for myself, and I highly recommend to you also, is to attend 
Boot Camp for New Dads at your local hospital.  It's three or so hours on a Saturday 
morning where you'll learn the basics about taking care of your babies.  Swaddling, 
changing, and even holding a newborn are covered, as are a myriad of other fathering 
issues.  Well worth it.  Their website, www.newdads.com, has some great info as well.

On another note, Renée has suggested that this column needs a name.  Picking names is 
not something I do well (my suggestions for baby names included Great, Mighty, and Snow, 
but they were thankfully shot down).  So, all you dads out there... go onto the TMM 
Discussion List and give me some ideas for our column.