Dad’s Perspective: We Don’t Need No Stinking Badges!
By Jonathan White, Triplet Dad
Originally printed in April, 2005

That’s the chorus you’ll hear screamed by my crew every time they 
here anyone say the word, “badges.”  And, if you say, “I’m not an 
animal,” they’ll blurt out, “She gave me water!” (with appropriate 
English accents).  Too funny; at least I think so.  That’s why I 
taught the old movie lines to them.  They also have a repertoire of 
silly jokes also taught to them by dear-old Dad.  What do you call a 
boomerang that doesn’t come back to you?  They know it; a stick.  
How about a cheese that’s not yours?  Nacho cheese (not “yo” cheese, 
get it?).

They’re like little parrots, I swear.  But with the humorous, also comes 
the things you really wish they never heard or things you wish they would 
only discuss at home.  You know they are going to practice those whenever 
grandparents are over or while cruising through Wal-Mart.  “Shut up,” 
is a good one in public, which is usually directed towards our 
possessed parrot (yes, we do have an actual pet parrot).  “Yo, Dog,” 
never fails to impress anyone in ear-shot (courtesy of their older brother).  
The most embarrassing sayings have to be questions regarding anatomy; 
specifically, the differences between boys and girls.  “Nana, do have a _____?”  
Fill in the blank, they’ve asked it all.

Some of the funniest things out of their mouths are simply the result 
of 3-year old pronunciation.  The abovementioned demonic bird is actually 
an African grey parrot, but from the mouth of a 3-year old, it’s an 
“f’ing grey parrot.”  On second thought, it may not be a pronunciation 
problem at all…  At least they’re now able to pronounce “juice.”  
This is serious - I was afraid to take them out in public for a while.  
Instead of asking for juice, they’d just scream out “Jews.”  I was 
afraid people would think I was raising a trio of anti-Semites!  Seriously, 
I thought of only giving them milk in public because of it!

Thankfully, they’re also learning all the good stuff to say.  They know 
to say sorry when they have hurt each other or have done something they 
know they shouldn’t have.  Lately, when they’re playing in an adjoining 
room and we hear one start crying, it is quickly followed by, “I said, ‘sorry.’”  
It’s only when we don’t hear crying and one of the crew runs over and 
says to us, “I said, ‘sorry,’” do we start getting nervous.  At bed time, 
they refuse to go to sleep before saying their prayers.

And, there’s nothing better than, “I love you,” during a particularly 
stressful day.