Dad’s Perspective: It Takes a Village
By Jonathan White, Triplet Dad
Originally printed in September, 2005

Our trio turns four this month.  Has it really been four years?  
No way.  It still feels like it was yesterday that we were driving 
into Boston for all the ultra sounds.  The valet parkers at NEMC 
and I were on a first name basis.  One even bought a teddy bear 
as a gift when the babies were born.  Next year at this time, 
they’ll be in kindergarten.  Only one more short year with 
them at home all day.  (Is that Shelbi dancing?)  It reminds me 
of that Staples commercial.  (All of you with school-aged kids 
know it.  It’s the one with the father skipping up and down the 
aisle, the kids pouting, and you hear that holiday classic, “it’s 
the most wonderful time of the year.”)

I’ve just been thinking of all the different people who we’ve met 
by way of our kids.  Some we see on a regular basis, like Heather, 
who does everyone’s hair in the family – we just book the whole evening 
and take over her shop.  Some we see regularly for a while, then not 
again for quite some time, like our favorite nurse at the pediatrician’s 
office.  She’s been around since the oldest two were babies.  Seems 
like we’re there all the time for a bit, then we don’t see them for close 
to a year.  No offense, but at $20 a greeting per child, once a year is plenty.

There are some people that were a part of our lives for a long time but 
have now been relegated to the Christmas card list only.  The perinatologist’s 
office is in this group, but they rate up towards the top – they get a 
picture as well.  Our EI caseworker was almost family, over at least 
three days a week for the longest time, but now, she’s moved on 
with her career and we only communicate through birthday and Christmas 
letters.  She gets lots of pictures.

Then, there are those who we see all the time but you almost wish you 
didn’t.  They mean well, but they just don’t get it.   The crossing guard 
for the local school falls into this category.  To go for a walk during 
the week, you have to pass by her.  She still asks about their ages:  
“That’s right, a day older than yesterday.”  “Yup, they’re all still 
the same age.”  (Maybe one day it’ll sink in.  Who am I kidding, it never will.)  
It’s interesting to see how much the babies are aware of their surroundings – 
even they look at her strangely now.

There are also those who we’ve never really met, but we treat them as if 
we have.  Renée, you fall into this category.  It’s possible we met when 
we brought the crew to the TMM holiday party when they were one, but I’m 
awful with names and faces. (Editor’s note:  Nope, we didn’t attend that 
year  as the babies were only 3-months old then)   That, and I really wanted 
to forget that whole outing after dealing with the virus which everyone in the 
family picked up a couple weeks before Christmas.  There’s something about 
spending Christmas night in the ER so everyone can get IV fluids that really 
helps clear one’s mind.

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet another HOM father that I “met” over 
four years ago while we were expecting our trio.  He had just had quads.  
He and his wife had taken their five kids from Oklahoma to D.C. for the 
2005 Triplet Connection convention in July and then, on through each of 
the New England states.  Jeff Labonte and I met up with Steve Moyer and 
his family at a local Friendly’s for dinner and some ice cream.  It was nice to 
finally meet someone who I had been communicating with online for over four years.

There have been so many people we’ve met over the last four years and I know 
there will be so many more once school starts.  I wonder why there aren’t 
more Christmas card companies...