Vaccinations, Au Pairs, Potty-Training and Bed-Buying From Our Members… Originally printed in October, 2005 Recently, the following questions were asked of members on the online TMM Discussion List: Anyone have thoughts on the best way to handle vaccinations? Do each child separately maybe? ~Margo D. We gave Tylenol before we left the doctors or actually, when we got there. I always did my appointments on a Friday [since we were] both home for the next two days. The more hands, the better. We also gave them a bottle (if they would take it) as a comfort after the shot. ~Deb G. We arranged for late night appointments and brought my in-laws with us. It was next to impossible otherwise. Granted, there was still a LOT of screaming and pandemonium, but it's much easier when you have extra hands. Everyone would get a dose of Tylenol. I'd usually stay with A thru the shot, hand off to Jack, who'd hand off to my mother-in-law to redress. Meanwhile, I'm undressing B. B gets a shot, hand-off to Jack. My mother-in-law now gives a dressed A to Grandpa, then gets and dresses B. I'm undressing C. C gets the shot, Jack and I redress C and home we go! One bottle and off to bed! The kids would easily fall asleep from the combination of Tylenol, the vaccines, and a screaming fit. ~Renée R. I always gave them Tylenol before the visit, that way it seemed to stay with them after the shots. It is up to you on if you are comfortable about that, and between Motrin or Tylenol. ~Lisa B. I always gave Tylenol first. However, they are going to always scream at time of the shots, unfortunately. The best thing you can do is have two other people with you. I had to be alone most of the times, but the nurses helped me out, and I started taking books, Cheerios, a favorite animal, and sippy cups. I kept them busy and entertained until shot time, and once done from the shot, I would offer right away a sippy cup (don't show them the cup (or bottle) until after the shot, so that it would be like a little prize). ~Rena F. The babies will always cry after shots but we only had all-out pandemonium after doctor visits for the first 4-5 months. I think it's part of the whole overstimulation thing. Before the appointment, I made sure to have bottles ready for when we got home. Once home, I put them all in our favorite Fisher Price infant-to-toddler rockers. I fed two and rocked the other with my foot while singing. I then put the two in electronic swings and fed the third and put the third in a swing after eating. It helped us to have classical music playing. With all three in swings, I had my hands free to deal with anyone who couldn't fall asleep on their own. After a nap, they did better for the rest of the day but were still touchy. Timing of the appointment didn't make much difference for us. ~Marsha M. My triplet babes are 1-year old, my older boy is now 3 1/2 and I am going to be losing my mom who has been with us for the last year. Have any of you had an au pair? Was the experience a good one? Any particular drawbacks I should know about? ~Amy We currently have a live-in nanny for our 13-month old triplets. She is American and from our home town. She is 22 and goes to the local community college part time for early childhood education. We found her on the website www.greataupairs.com. I actually found a lot of local girls in my area on that website. We started off having her come and baby-sit alongside my mom while we were at work. Then, slowly, we transitioned my mother out as we began to be more comfortable with her. After about four or five months, we felt that it was a good "fit" and that we couldn't do it without her. At that point, we asked her if she wanted to move in. We, too, have a separate space for her with her own bathroom, etc. It was a nice way for things to fall into place because we were sure that we liked her before we asked her to move in. I was worried that I would feel like my privacy was lost by having another person living in my house, but actually, its not that way at all. We've been very respectful of each other's space when Lindsey is "off duty." We've tried to be very clear about her expected hours and how she is reimbursed if she works overtime, etc. This allows her to feel like there is a definite boundary and end to her work day. At that point, she steals away and we don't see her much until she is "on duty" again. Now, looking back, I don't have any regrets about having a live-in. I think it has made our lives easier and we couldn't be happier with her. ~Jenny L. We have had an au pair now for almost a year. She is from Germany and is 19-years old. My kids are 15-months old. Our au pair lives upstairs with us. She has her own bedroom and bathroom, but it has been a little "close." We are finishing our basement so the next au pair will have more privacy (as will we!). The best thing about having an au pair (besides the cost) is having the flexibility to change her schedule daily/weekly/whenever! They all work 45-hours a week, but it is up to you to decide when. Most of the time, we had her work 9:30-6:30pm because, for the kids, the mornings are their best time so I didn't really need her to help. However, sometimes I wake her up later if my husband is coming home late and I need help at the end of the day. If we need her to work a weekend, we just give her time off during the week. Because I am home too, I was nervous she would spend every waking hour with me! However, when she is off duty, she either goes out with her friends or hangs out in her room. We set her up with a TV, computer and phone so she can "live" in her room. She also likes to eat in her room so that gives us more time apart. On the whole, it has been terrific!!! ~Melissa R. I am looking for any and all input that you might offer on beginning potty training. I feel as though I am late doing certain things with my girls and I don't realize it until I am around other (singleton) moms. ~Joanna F. I went out [when my trio were] around 17-mos. and bought potties... we did the videos... I was going to train them by video osmosis! Looking back, I know now it wasn't the right time. I can't say what made the difference, but only in the past month (my kids are now 33-mos.) has even ONE of my trio been interested. Lily finally became interested in the whole process in June... could understand how it felt, how to control it... could comprehend the praising and consequences. We still struggle right now with the whole poop thing (she's withholding), but she is completely trained during the day and wears underwear with no mistakes. Naps and night, she still needs a diaper. If I mention the potty to the boys, they run shrieking. I know your personality -- you so want to be a mom who's successful, etc. I think trying to do this right now is going to really frustrate you and make you feel like you're not doing something right. Maybe your girls will love the idea, but don't kill yourself if they shouldn't take right to it. I think, the more you talk to other moms in this circle... almost 3-yo to 4-yo is more the window for this opportunity. ~Renée R. I have to agree with the potty training... they will let you know when they're ready. I thought I had to buy all the gear and books and whatever else, but when it came right down to it, it doesn't happen until THEY want it to! My daughter (then 2y9m) told me on a Friday that she was going to wear diapers "like the baby" when I even approached the topic. That MONDAY (yes, three days later), she asked to wear underwear and never wore a diaper again ( except at bedtime until she really got the hang of it!!) All kids are different but I agree that there is ALOT of potential frustration for ALL OF YOU if this is introduced at the wrong time. ~Shannon L. I agree also. As my doctor always says, "You can't control input or output of a child. They'll do both when they want." It's not worth the aggravation. They will definitely tell you. ~Nancy W. I also agree. My daughter was trained by 3-years; my boys were 3.5 and almost 4-years old by the time they were fully trained. I started out around age 2.5 by lining up three potty chairs on the kitchen floor. I set up a reward (ok, bribe) system where they got one Smartie candy for pee in the potty, two for poop. That didn't matter much to them, however. There was minimal interest; basically, they just wanted to haul them over to the TV to sit on, fully clothed, or use as a step stool to reach what they shouldn't. One day, my daughter just wandered to her potty, told me she wanted to try, and that was that. The boys were not so easy until I put the potty in the bathroom at tubby time. I told the kids to please not pee in the tub, that it's yucky to sit in pee, and miraculously, the boys finally did it. (Hint: the potty chairs with the fewest crevices are easier to keep clean. The musical potties that play “Row-row-row Your Boat” when you flush get so caked with urine crystals they have to be trashed. Better yet, invest in a good potty seat that fits on the big toilet (like Bjorn) and a sturdy stepstool. Cleaning out potty chairs gets old VERY fast.) Also, if anyone even tries to remark that your kids aren't potty trained YET (gasp!), gently remind them that when they are the mom of triplets, they can have them potty trained the way they see fit. It worked for me! ~Sue J. I'm so glad to hear all this advice. My triplets are 28-months old and I just went out earlier this week to purchase potty chairs and training pants. It's not going good. After reading the opinions from experienced triplet moms, I'm taking it. My trio will let me know when they are ready. I don't think it's worth getting stressed about. ~Liz M. My oldest daughter, now 6, trained in one week at 3 1/2. When she trained, she could actually hold it for a few minutes so we could get to a bathroom without killing ourselves. My mother kept pushing to get me to work at it, but I figured that every child in every culture and socio-economic status on the planet is trained. They just do it when they're ready. I’m not pushing my triplets because I don't want to visit every bathroom on the planet every time we leave the house! ~Jeanne S. I echo what [the others] advised. We waited until our children were over 3-years to even begin. We made a huge deal of going to the store with them, taking pictures the first time they each used the potty (and making a collage afterwards) and even had a Potty Party the day we bought their potties. HUGE SUCCESS!!!! This is similar to how we mark most developmental milestones. We trained our two girls first at the age of 3-years, 3-months. They were so interested and really got the hang of it quickly. We waited until our two boys were 3 1/2 to begin, which was nice because we were never focusing on all four at one time. By the time we started the boys, the girls were totally trained. My answer to well-meaning (and not well-meaning) people who actually thought I cared what they thought about potty training MY children…"When you have four 3-year olds, let me know, and then I'll listen to your advice" Silence was the only answer I ever got. ~Karen O. Can anyone recommend a furniture store with a good selection of twin beds for kids? Somewhere that's not outrageously expensive? ~Linda F. How about Jordan's Furniture? I looked there and saw some nice beds, but ended up buying three twin platform beds with the drawers underneath at Eric's Solid Oak Furniture in Salisbury. My point is, the drawers underneath are working out well for toy storage. ~Sue We bought a sofa recently at Bob's and were impressed with the selection and price. I would check them out for twin beds. ~Lisa G. There is also a "Bedrooms" in Danvers, but they have a great selection and can custom build any bed if you happen to have specific dimensions in the room you are using. They also have the underbed drawers that are a really nice perk… great storage and very strong. The store is nothing to look at from the outside, but they do have nice things that are individually built in Vermont. They also have a website to view. ~Shannon L. We looked around a lot a few years ago and ended up at Jordan's Furniture. We found the same bed at Bedrooms on Rt. 1 for about the same price. Both places had a good selection and good service. We chose Jordan's because we could purchase a 5-yr. warranty that would cover the furniture, even if the kids were destructive. They'll come to the house and try and fix it; if they can't, they'll order replacement parts/pieces. ~Gayle C. I think both Jordan’s and Bedrooms are good choices. We looked at both places (as well as many others). We bought our bedroom furniture at Bedrooms on Rt. 1 South in Peabody ten years ago. It still looks great and was very reasonably priced for the quality. We ended up buying the frames for the kids at Jordan’s (not knowing if their new bedroom situation was going to work out at the time) and we made custom headboards that attach to the frames. They were surprisingly easy to make. ~Lynn M.