Memorials and Keepsakes
By Linda Foley, Triplet Mom
Originally printed in October, 2005

On the anniversary of my son’s death, I take the day off from work.  
I spend part of this day with my husband talking about David and remembering 
him.  I spend another part of this day by myself, in solitude, almost in 
meditation.  I like to have some quiet time to myself and I try to go to 
a place that is still, so I can be as still and quiet as I want while I 
reflect on my loss, my son, what should have been, what could have been.  
I also try to make part of this time something that is being good to me, 
for example getting a manicure.  I know that day I’m fragile and I try to 
pamper myself is some small way.

Later that day, we come together as a family and we release some balloons 
into the sky.  As they fly away, my husband and I will say a sentiment.  
We tell the kids we are sending balloons into the sky to remember David 
and to let him know that we miss him and we love him.

However you decide to memorialize your baby, or decide not to, it should be 
what is right for you and your family.  Memorials are a way to bring some 
closure and to help you heal.  If you do something because you think you 
should or you feel someone else expects you to, it will be uncomfortable 
for you and it will not have any meaning for you and your child.

Some ideas for a memorial or keepsake are:

~Have a piece of jewelry made that includes your baby’s birthstone.

~Plant a tree in your yard.

~Make a memorial stepping stone with your baby’s name on it and put it in your garden.

~Have a portrait done of your baby – many artists can work from photographs 
you have or make a composite drawing based on photos of other family members.

~Name a star after your baby.  For more details, visit www.starregistry.com.

~Make a memory box or scrapbook – include hospital ID bracelet, foot prints, 
ultrasound photos, letters and cards.

~Create a family ritual to honor your baby on the anniversary of birth/death.  

~Light a candle, release a balloon, etc.

~Make a donation to a charity in your baby’s name.

~Donate toys/books to a local Children’s Hospital, library or school in your baby’s name.

~Make a memorial card each year and send it with your holiday cards.  You might 
include your baby’s name, birth/death date, a quote or poem.

~Create a webpage dedicated to your baby.

~Write letters or poems to your baby.