What it is Like to Be a Triplet
By Martha Elster, Triplet and Co-Founder of Triplets Who Care, Inc.
Originally printed in May, 2006

To begin, my name is Martha Elster and I am one of three triplet girls 
from Winston-Salem, NC.  My sisters’ names are Patricia and Elizabeth, 
and I am identical to Patricia.  We are seventeen-years old and are 
seniors in high school.

While it is nearly impossible to fully articulate a comprehensive answer 
to the ever-present question, “What is it like to be a triplet,” my 
sisters and I have found our distinctive lifestyle as triplets to be 
the most incredible and gratifying experience imaginable.  Through 
this article, I hope to shine a light on my experience as a triplet 
and attempt to answer some of those “looming triplet questions.”

As a parent, you must always remember that your triplets (or more) 
are separate individuals.  Their peers will always attempt to socially 
“group” them together, so it is crucial that you encourage individualism 
from the start.  While I understand that it is so adorable to dress them 
up in matching outfits as infants, you must understand that they will not 
be as willing to do so in their teenage years.

Secondly, and very importantly, encourage your triplets to know that their 
siblings will always be there.  My life could not be complete without my 
other two-thirds.  Your triplets may, later in life, live in separate 
states or attend different schools, but they will always be each other’s 
support and they will be able to understand each other psychologically.  
No triplet knows what its like to be anything but a triplet; from birth 
to death, they are always triplets.  However, it is how one chooses to 
live his or her life as a triplet that truly matters.  Your children 
can simply accept they are triplets and ignore it, or they can use it 
as a positive part of their life and try to form strong bonds with 
their siblings.

As for education, I think that it is important to keep your triplets 
together in elementary school and early middle school.  For my parents, 
encouraging individuality through school was very important.  However, 
my parents soon realized how challenging the early separation became when 
we were all faced with difficult school years.  In second grade, I had 
difficulties during the school day and often would cry in the middle of 
school lessons due to homesickness.  When I asked my mother about our 
separation in school, she commented: “Remember second grade for you?  
We made a mistake.”  Similarly, in third grade, my fraternal sister, 
Elizabeth, had difficulties in her separate homeroom.  Challenged by two 
years of hindrances, my parents quickly switched Elizabeth into my homeroom 
and the problems were resolved.  In summary, while it is important for you 
to encourage your children to be different, it is most important to put 
your triplets together for the early years of school as they adjust to the 
new settings.

As your children mature, it is appropriate to separate them in education, 
depending on your own preferences.  By high school, your children may 
choose to do this on their own, selecting separate high schools.  Faced 
with the new possibilities of high school, I excitedly transferred from 
my previous K-12 school to Salem Academy, an all girls’ boarding school, 
as a day student.  Through my initial jubilation of new people and new 
possibilities, it gradually dawned on me that my sisters would not be 
coming with me to my new school.  While I felt very uncomfortable at 
the thought, it was a good way for me to separate myself in preparation 
for college.  While I have certainly missed sharing some of my senior 
events with my sisters this year, I have found my experience “on my own” 
at Salem a crucial part of who I have become today.

Next September, a life altering change will occur — the three of us will 
spend our birthdays separate from each other for the first time in almost 
eighteen years; we have decided to attend three different universities in 
three different states.  However, to be slightly cliché, we will be “far 
apart in spirit, but not in heart.”  Wherever your triplets chose to go 
with their lives, they will always be close to each other certainly “in heart.”  
Your children, even though they may have a lot of bickers over Barbie 
dolls now, will soon grow to cherish each other more than anyone else 
in the world.  As parents, you must realize the uniqueness and once-in-a-lifetime 
experience your children will always get to have, and encourage both their 
individuality and their togetherness as much as possible.